If you were raised by strict parents, you will know that their reason for being strict is usually that they want the child to grow to be a productive adult. Sometimes though, it can get a little too extreme as it begins to seem that the focus is not really on what the child wants, but in what they- the parents, think is better, despite signs which might show that what a child has interest in, is better. As you may have correctly guessed, this leads to some issues in the children when they grow up. If you possess any of these, chances are your parents fall into that category. Some of them are:
1. A Loner
Throughout your childhood, you were made to stay on your own, by your parents, because they believed that allowing you socialize with other kids would make you become corrupt and ill-mannered. Overtime, whatever social skills you were beginning to develop got blown into the wind, and you now find it hard to associate with other people. Whenever you find yourself in the midst of people, you become anxious and recoil.
2. You Have a Hard Time Voicing Your Opinion
As a child, it was always a constant thing for your opinions to be ignored, and that of your parents, followed. And if you insisted or rebelled, you were punished. Now all grown up, at work and in gatherings, you find it almost impossible to voice your opinions out because you’re afraid of similar reactions you got from your parents, even when a part of you knows that the possibility of that happening is very low.
3. Self-Blame
Maintaining a good image, and doing everything right, was the important thing to your parent as a kid that you were. Mistakes were not tolerated, and when they became tolerated, it was still treated as big issue. It has now led to you taking the blame for everything in the world that has gone wrong, even though any of them was hardly your fault.
4. Always Wanting to Please People
You tried to avoid trouble as much as possible, by doing everything right, in order to avoid getting a scolding. Also, you tried to make your parents happy enough to avoid that. Now, an adult, you still do the same. Ignoring your own wants and needs, you put others first before you, even if it makes you sad, making it easy for people to trample on you.
5. You Lack Confidence
Being used to constant supervision and lack of trust from your parents, all grown up, you still seek validation from people you feel are better than you, or even strangers, to be comfortable about an activity you have carried out, or a job you did. In some cases, you might even be better that those people, but your confidence issues doesn’t allow you acknowledge that.
6. You Always Seek Validation
Over strict parents usually have this sense of superiority over all other persons, so they always try to mold their children into that perceived version of themselves. This leads the child to always wanting to fulfil the parents’ wishes, in order to be praised and maybe, just maybe, get gifts. You begin to base your happiness on that, and you still are, as an adult. But it is never enough for you, because every attention you get is usually just for a short while, and only because of what you helped with.
7. You Just Can’t Say ‘No’
Affirming boundaries is big issue for you because it wasn’t impressed on you as a kid. It is easy for people to get you to do favours for them because you find it hard to say you don’t want to, or are too busy to. Also, hearing ‘no’ has a way of affecting you, very badly.
8 You Have Bad Habits You Just Can’t Shake
People develop bad habits as a coping mechanism for terrible situations. Sometimes, they don’t even realise that is what they are doing. For some people, it could be smoking, under-eating, over-eating, and other habits.
9. Low Self-Esteem
Often times than not, having over strict parents have bad influence on children, leaving them with the feeling of insignificance and worthlessness.
10. You are Highly Sensitive
As an adult, you have developed anxiety towards receiving corrections from people. You don’t take it well, and when criticized, it takes always all the joy you might have felt before, even though it might be a honest criticism.
There are more, but this sums up the majority of the issues. No matter how much damage might have been done as a kid, you’re now an adult, and a bit more in control. Accept help, or seek it, and be relentless in wanting to be a better version of yourself, and surely, you will get there.